A Letter From One Of Our "Educationally Challenged" Military Members

My Dad sent me this e-mail. I don't know who the author is but apart from being humorous, it is just the perfect response to that "haughty French Senator from Massachusetts who ,by the way, served in Viet Nam", John Kerry:

SENATOR JOHN KERRY
304 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
WASHINGTON DC 20510

DEAR SENATOR KERRY:

WE ARE STILL LAUGHING OVER HERE IN IRAQ AT YOUR JOKE ABOUT THE TROOPS BEING DUMB. WE DO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER THAN WE ARE BECAUSE YOU WERE ABLE TO GET OUT OF COMBAT IN THREE MONTHS. THIS IS WHY WE ARE SEEKING YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE GIVE US GUIDANCE.

1. WHERE IS THE LEAST PAINFUL AREA ON THE BODY TO INFLICT A WOUND?

2. DOES IT HAVE TO BLEED OR WILL A SCRATCH DO?

3. WHERE DO YOU GET THE FORMS TO FILL OUT RECOMMENDING YOURSELF FOR A PURPLE

HEART?

4. DO YOU NEED A WITNESS? IF SO, HOW MUCH DOES THAT COST?

5. ARE THREE PURPLE HEARTS STILL GOOD FOR A TRIP HOME?

6. WHAT IS A REALISTIC PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH TO ACQUIRE THESE WOUNDS? LESS THAN

THREE MONTHS SOUNDS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS EVEN TO US.

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP AND KEEP THE JOKES COMING.

JUST A DUMB G.I.